December 2008
50 posts
New obsession
lieslieslies:
Sometimes you get drunk and feel the need to yell things at people from cars as you drive by (in the passenger seat, not driving drunk). Well what do you say to teenagers hanging out in parking lots at 11 pm? I used to tell them to ‘do a kickflip!’ regardless of them having a skateboard. My new favorite, however, is brilliant. It makes me laugh and it baffles the shit out of...
re: me being sick
busygirl: Then I start to get nostalgic re: that boy you don't like, because he was the best taker-care-of'er that ever existed.
saintloco: If he wasn't so douchey, I wouldn't hate him. That 2 AM song didn't help much either.
New Years Plans blowing up left and right...and...
Holy crap.
There hasn’t been a NYE this happening since sophomore year of high school (yes…you all will never forget that year).
And I have spent yesterday AND today in bed with the flu. I am so over this.
On a positive note, it might be the G-O-D getting back at me for saying I was jealous of [redacted] sorority sister who got a parasite in Mexico and lost like 30 pounds. I’m...
saintloco:
I am trying to write an ODE to Erin as an example for a student project and the first line ends in a preposition. The only thing I can think is that Megs would kill me for ending a sentence with “of”. FAIL as an English teacher!
Linds,
It is out of pure, unadulterated LOVE that I would kill you for that. As well as “do to.” It’s “due to.” I’m just...
lover: You're retarded.
busygirl: That's not nice.
lover: Fine. You're cerebrally challenged.
saintloco: I know I’m getting old because I’m thinking about getting rid of my MySpace and Facebook.
busygirl: NOT Facebook. Please. It is my lifeline to my friends back home.
saintloco: I know, but it is boring me.
busygirl: Get MyFarm. It was boring me too, but now I’m a virtual farmer making virtual money planting virtual crops.
saintloco: Wow. You are so much lamer than I am! Victory!
Totem Destroyer will be the end of me →
I can’t, for the life of me, get past level 24.
My new straightener has a warning label that says...
busygirl: Keep me posted.
lover: That's what she said.
busygirl: Well I'm a girl so yes. Anyway, keep me posted.
lover: Oh, I'll post you.
mamaweil: You and I both have a lot of really weird quirks.
busygirl: Liiike?
mamaweil: Well how I have to always wear slippers in a hotel room. You'll grab the sperminated comforter and lay on the floor, but you won't sit on a toilet without a flimsy ass liner.
busygirl: Touche...
My favorite [naughty] Christmas song
I really can’t stay - Baby it’s cold outside I’ve got to go away - Baby it’s cold outside This evening has been - Been hoping that you’d drop in So very nice - I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what’s your hurry My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar So really...
While on the phone ordering lunch
chesterchesterfield: Can you please double wrap it?
busygirl: That's what she said.
“Anyone want some potpourri bread?”
– disgruntled co-worker, while putting mysterious lavender bread on the table
“Did you hear that the woman with the clown car vagina gave birth to her 18th...”
– Me, to rooms. He watches “sophisticated” TV. I watch crap.
disgruntled co-worker: How evil can someone be before it's too evil? Ballpark figure.
busygirl: Um, well. I have a story.
busygirl: When I was in [redacted elementary school grade], this [redacted elementary school grade] girl named [redacted] was mean to me. Always. Her little sister had died in an accident two years prior, so one day, I had finally had enough of her picking on me, and I said 'Maybe if you wouldn't have farted your sister would still be alive.'
busygirl: That's too evil. So don't go there.
disgruntled co-worker: Did she cry, you evil, heartless bitch?
busygirl: Yes.
busygirl: AND she stopped picking on me. So technically, it worked.
disgruntled co-worker: IT IS STILL EVIL.
busygirl: Yes, but you asked how evil you can be before you are TOO evil. This is a TOO evil example.
busygirl: I mean really, let’s focus on the inquiry at hand here.
All I Want for Christmas Is...Jews! →
Who doesn't love an ignorant red-neck in the... →
aliexplainsitall:
I’m just glad to see that these people aren’t from Missouri… unfortunately, these are the kind of Missourians that make the national news.
via itsmescooter
On the Chelsea Lately roundtable discussion of this “story”, they were talking about how when you go to school, you say your name and a word that starts with the same letter as your name…for example, I...
I miss Big Love on HBO
I may not always love you But long as there are stars above you You never need to doubt it I’ll make you so sure about it God only knows what I’d be without you If you should ever leave me Though life would still go on, believe me The world could show nothing to me So what good would livin’ do me God only knows what I’d be without you
“I love you, too, baby girl!”
– Alcoholic Janet, to her SON, Thomas, on the newest episode of Intervention. (via itsmescooter)
Holy shit I can’t wait to watch that episode tonight!
(via missamylynn)
My favorite part was that he goes “MOM…it’s me. THOMAS.”
saintloco:
Today I got official proof that I should go to work everyday. The stuff on T.V. is making people vastly less intelligent. As I was switching through the channels I caught this sweet headline.
The G.P.S system tracks the baby Jesus along with other feature Nativity members from your lawn. So if people choose to ruin the season all you have to do is go to the computer and track your...
“Please just feed her some f*cking Cheez-It’s and call it a day.”
– [redacted] re: anonymous chatty co-worker who sounds like a bird
“I need to call…well…I don’t know who it is anymore....”
– boss, re: her mortgage company, which still remains a mystery
Current Mood: Exhausted
Last night I went to Acoustic Christmas - and the lineup was so badass:
Vampire Weekend
Snow Patrol
Scott Weiland
Franz Ferdinand
Paramore
Death Cab for Cutie
THE KILLERS
The Cure
To top off all of the badassness (minus The Cure - YUCK), Kanye West was the surprise guest artist - he came out just before Paramore.
Backstage was phenomenal this year compared to years past - of course I...
“Spitters are quitters”
– Chris Rock
saintloco:
I am fierce, I am my own worst enemy most, if not all the time. Some people do not understand my Fuck It attitude but then again those people will probably never understand me. I can’t control what people think, say, act or feel anymore than the next person but I know that at the end of the day some people love me, get me and are irrevocably necessary to me. I am unorthodox. I do...
Ha! Proof! →
henryeatspeople:
Real Age: 23 Your Life Expectancy: 79 You can expect to live approximately another 18600 more days.
See! I knew there was a reason I celebrate my 23rd birthday every year.
Hmmm…for me: Real age: 10.2 Life expectancy: 87.8 You can expect to live approximately another 23300 more days.
Sooooo basically I have every right to act like a kid everyday :)
Best. Paper. Ever. Written. →
My favorite part is that this kid DIDN’T fail! The teacher gave him a D.
People calling you at 3 in the morning.
(via whatannoysus)
Ugh.
I am the worst at this…and texting all hours of the night.
I am still officially grounded from my antics this past weekend…and luckily Mama Weil gets into town on Thursday so it will be easy to stay grounded!
Who has two thumbs and went from drinking Red...
THIS girl.
Friday is off to an amazing start...
Woke up late.
Forgot something I really effing need today.
When turning the corner in the parking garage, I turned too close to one of the concrete walls and SCRAPED THE ENTIRE EFFING PASSENGER SIDE OF MY CAR. Obviously, pictures of that will be posted once I forgive myself for being such a f*cking idiot.
Kill me.
Come on now...have a little faith in me.
Sooo 2 years ago at the UCLA/USC football game at the Rose Bowl, I MIGHT have gotten drunk and I MIGHT have passed out face down in one of the sand traps on the golf course before kickoff…MAYBE.
Tomorrow, the UCLA/USC game is back at the Rose Bowl, and I get the following email today from my roommate:
“In a news release, police announced they would be taking a ‘zero tolerance...
Suck it, Holiday Season
itsmescooter:
sheasylvia:
I think the holiday season discriminates against single people.
First there’s the part where it kind of takes the fact that you’re single and shoves it in your face. Often. TV commercials, holiday themed movies, TV shows, songs, etc. are all about families and romances and happy endings. I do not see any of those in my immediate future, but thanks, Holiday Season,...
Deer gets revenge after hunter shoots him →
ellenclare:
aliexplainsitall:
this totally reminds me of that scene in Tommy Boy where the deer wakes up and freaks out in the back of the car.
way to go on making the national news… Sedalia, Missouri (home of Goober Burger, the Missouri State Fair & ellenclare) I’m impressed!
It even gets better….This man works for my father. He is the nicest man and would do anything to help me or my...
